If you ask a young lady or man today who he/she desires as a spouse, the first likely response is: “a God fearing person”. Who is then a God fearing lady or man? Do such still exist in our society? How can one choose them for marriage?
Marriage is a decision to live with an opposite sex for life in line with Bible injunctions and the laws/ customs of the land. Matt.19:4-7; 1Cor.7:38 (KJV).
A spouse is defined by Cambridge English Dictionary as “a person’s husband or wife”. Therefore this script is about determining how to choose a godly husband or wife. The Bible says in Proverbs 31:10-11 “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her”. Again the scriptures says “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favour from the Lord”. The truth therefore is that godly spouses exist, though maybe a little bit hard to find but adopting the following rules will help you:
THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO IN FINDING A GODLY SPOUSE
1. Do not lie: many usually lie about their financial status, jobs, genotype, HIV status, etc, in order to woo those they desire to accept their marriage proposal. Some would even claim “God showed me or told me you are my wife”. Why did God not tell the lady the same thing at the same time? This is a blatant lie. The Bible says “Bread gained by deceit is sweet to a man But afterwards his mouth will be filled with gravel”. Prov.20:17
2. Do not consult oracle men and spiritualists: Consulting oracle men or spiritualists is a step to doom and perpetual slavery. The oracle man or pastor/Alfa will ensure you consult him before the lady becomes pregnant. You will then be perpetually tied to his oracle or deceit. 1Cor.7:23 says “you were bought with a price, do not become slaves of men”. They are false prophets, deceitful workers and serving their bellies and not God. Rom.16:18; 2Cor.8:24
3. Do not consider only outward appearance, such as beauty, shape, height as these are temporary. Most importantly, consider his or her lifestyle/ conduct such as truth, respect, service, dedication to God, etc. Prov.31:30
4. Do not rely on dreams in choosing a spouse as dreams could be deceitful. Dreams occur most times as results of fatigue or deep thoughts before going to bed. Such thoughts may likely appear in your dreams. Eccl.5:3.
HOW TO CHOOSE A GODLY SPOUSE
1. Birds of the same feather flock together. Most times a true Christians attract themselves just as wayward people, drunkards, drug addicts, sexually immoral people, etc. attract themselves. Make yourself a Godly spouse and you will attract a Godly spouse.
2. Fast and Pray. Marriage is a very serous issue. Fast and pray before you choose a spouse. Ask God for what you want and He will lead you to the rightful person. Matt.7:7-11.
3. Choose a spouse from the right source. Choose from among faithful children of God and not from occults, shrines, clubs, tribes, evil or man-made Churches, etc.
4. Look beyond external features. Make a list of spiritual and physical considerations for your future partner. Ensure the spiritual outweighs the physical. Make sure you bring yourself to that standard too. Matt.7:12.
5. Moral Communication and Association. Observe the nature of his/her communication. If his/her communication is moral always, then that is a Godly person. Eph.4:29. Consider his/her company, is it with drunkards, miscreants, lays-about, corrupt people or with morally upright people, religiously minded people, Bible study group, God fearing people, etc? 1Cor.15:33.
6. Choose a spouse who invests in God. If you cherish heaven, then the right spouse is him/her who invest /his her time, money, intellect and effort in pleasing God such as reading the Bible, praying, studying God’s word, giving to the needy, counseling the weak, visiting the sick, etc. Matt.25:34-46.
7. Sex Consideration. A spouse to be who asks or demands for sex before marriage is not a Godly spouse. Such must not be considered as he/she will not be satisfied with one man/woman after marriage. The Bible enjoins us to flee from sexual immorality. 1Cor. 6:18
These principles are useful both for the married and unmarried. Advise yourself, your siblings and your children to consider the above when contemplating marrying a Godly spouse. God bless you as you take these words seriously.
If you need additional information or Bible study that leads to the salvation of your soul, please contact any Church of Christ nearest to you.
By: Elijah Abire (Evangelist)